Forbidden Broadway
2006 Emmy Awards
The Simpsons
The Olympic Man
Other
Forbidden Broadway
The 2001 version of "Forbidden Broadway" has
an extensive sendup of the Broadway Revival.
Here are the lyrics to the parody of "Ya Got Trouble".
Folks listen... May I have your attention please, attention please
I'm happy to be here friends, back on the boards with this routine
I'm the actual Robert Preston, not the imitation now in question
And I'm here to talk about the contemporary theatre scene
Well, ya got trouble my friends.
Right here, I said trouble right here in New York City
Why sure I'm a theatre goer...
Certainly mighty proud to say, always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend in a Broadway show are golden
Help me cultivate culture, and a sense of humor and dramatic flare
But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity
to make a good broadway show, I say that any boob
can pull a 2-bit play in a theatre, and I call those flops,
The first big shows of the year are leading to degredation
I say first, there's Lily Tomlin at the Boothe and Cher at the Shubert
Then the next thing you know your tickets
are costing more money than at City Bank
Cuz production costs are out of control, to produce is not an art,
it's more like gamblin'
And the only shows in the black are the shows they show on HBO
Like to slap down 80 bucks when ya coulda watched Sex In The City
Make your blood boil, well I should say
Now friends let me tell ya what I mean
Ya got 1,2,3,4,5,6 quality productions
But none of them from this season, and nothing much coming up
And that ends with P and that rhymes with D and that stands for DULL...
Now I'm sure all you folks are lovers of the theatre
I'm gonna be perfectly frank
Would you like to know what kind of conversation goes on in a typical Sardi's lunch?
People talk about Contact, talk about Fosse, talk about River Dance,
Swing, and Mama-Mia
And jeering alls abouts hows abouts the only shows now are big dance concerts
One fine night we'll walk down Broadway looking for a good show to go to
But all'll be gone, all you'll hear is this hip hop
Shameless music from a big hotel, high rise, with MTV and DVD players
Mass media, friends the idle theatre is the devil's playground
Trouble, right hear in New York City, with a capital T
and that rhymes with D and that stands for DULL
We surely got trouble, right here in New York City,
gotta figure out a way to get this Broadway season out of it's lull
(spoken)
Theatre goers of America, heed that warning before it's too late.
Look for the tell-tale signs of Broadway's destruction.
Are the new Ethel Merman and Mary Martin, Rosie O'Donnell and Kathy Griffith?
Are orchestras so heavily mic-ed that they might as well play a tape...and do?
Are foreign actors creepin' into our Broadway theatres?
Actors like Julia Benoche... Ah-ha, and Jesus Christ Stupid Star
(sings)
Well if so my friends,
you got TROUBLE, right here in New York City
With a capital T and that rhymes with D and that stands for DULL
We surely got trouble, right here in New York City
Remember Mame, Hello Dolly, and Cauge Falles
Oh we got trouble, we're in terrible terrible trouble
cuz Broadway looks like it's heading for an artistic lull
We surely got trouble, trouble, trouble
(oh, yes we got trouble here, we got big big trouble)
With a T (with a capital T)
Gotta rhyme with D (that rhymes with D)
And that stands for DULL (that stands for dull!)
---
2006 Emmy Awards with Conan O'Brien
The 2006 Emmy Awards broadcast featured a spot-on parody
of "Ya Got Trouble", where host Conan O'Brien rips into
NBC's sagging ratings. I'm not sure how long it will stay there,
but you can see the footage on YouTube at this link.
(Please be aware there are a couple of
parts that may not be suitable for kids.)
Apparently, Conan is a big Music Man fan and he wrote the
Marge vs. the Monorail episode of The Simpsons (see below).
Here is a transcript of the performance...
The NBC brass keep saying that we're just about to turn a corner.
They're very optimistic. But frankly, either NBC's closing its eyes
to a situation it does not wish to acknowledge, or they are unaware
of the caliber of disaster indicated by a drop to fourth place...
Weeeeeeeell, we got trouble, my friends. Yes, we got trouble
right here at NBC. With a capital T and that rhymes with G
as in "Gee, we're screwed". Yeah, we got trouble.
Trouble right here at NBC. I know you don't care,
but our network share is just one, dude.
Well, a few years ago we were sitting on top with Seinfeld,
Frasier and Friends. Then those shows bailed and the
new ones failed, and it started a nasty trend.
And the guy who passed on Lost was promoted instead of tossed,
and now the Peacock's getting it from both ends.
Yeah, we got trouble... (Oh, we got trouble!) Right here at NBC.
(At NBC!) With a capital T and that rhymes with G as in
"Gee, we're screwed." Yeah, we got trouble right here at NBC.
I hate to disrespect, but my lawyer checked and I can't be sued.
(His lawyers checked, he can't be sued.)
(Trouble... trouble... trouble...) And it's not just NBC, folks.
All of television is changing and we gotta change with it.
Tivo has people skipping past commercials, unlike the good
old days when they just got up and left the room. And there's
the internet. At this very moment your kids are on YouTube watching
a cat on a toilet, instead of watching that footage where it belongs...
on the Fox network! And worst of all, TV's biggest night of the year
is kicking off with a song and dance number performed by
a host with limited musical ability. (He can't sing!)
Yeah, we got trouble! TV's in terrible, terrible trouble.
We had a lot of viewers, not we got a few. To prove things are
going to hell, we're relying on Howie Mandel... With a capital T
and that rhymes with G, as in "Gee, we're screwed!"
Marge vs. the Monorail
On this classic episode of "The Simpsons",
the town has gathered to meet and discuss
how to best spend a recently acquired $3 million.
Marge Simpson makes the suggestion
to use the money to fix the horribly
maintained streets of Springfield.
There is a large show of support for her idea,
but suddenly, a stranger in a colorful suit and hat appears,
and suggests that they use the money instead
to build a monorail in the town
(he is planning to skimp on the cost of the production
and leave town with the extra money
before the shoddily built monorail derails).
The man, Lyle Lanley (voiced by Phil Hartman),
is a dead ringer for Harold Hill,
and he eventually launches into a musical number
in a style reminiscent of "Ya Got Trouble"...
Lyle Lanley
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine,
bonafide, electrified, six-car monorail!
What'd I say?
Ned Flanders
Monorail!
Lyle Lanley
What's it called?
Patty and Selma
Monorail!
Lyle Lanley
That's right! Monorail!
(crowd chants "Monorail" softly and rhythmically)
Miss Hoover
I hear those things are awfully loud.
Lyle Lanley
It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu
Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley
Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney
What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley
You'll all be given cushy jobs.
Abe
Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley
No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Chief Wiggum
The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley
Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it's Springfield's only choice.
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All
(singing)
Monorail!
Lyle Lanley
What's it called?
All
Monorail!
Lyle Lanley
Once again...
All
Monorail!
Marge
But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...
Bart
Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All
(singing)
Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!
(big finish)
Monorail!
Homer
(not realizing the song's over)
Mono... D'oh!
The Olympic Man
A parody I wrote for a church production,
with Harold Hill as a member of the
International Olympic Committee
during the Salt Lake City Olympic bribery scandal.
Every few years, the church I belong to
(The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)
puts on something called 'Roadshows',
where all the different branches in an area
each put together a brief (15 min.) 'show'
and then perform them for a few nights.
The theme in 1999 was to do
a parody of a Broadway musical,
and being asked to write and direct,
I, of course, chose "The Music Man" to do.
It was a great time, and I got to fulfill
a life-long dream to play the part of Harold Hill,
albeit not quite in the way I had always hoped!
Anyways, here is the script for the show,
based on the recent Olympic bribery scandal,
with Harold Hill as a member of the IOC.
It would probably help to know
more about LDS beliefs and culture
to get some of the specific references,
but most people should be able
to follow it nonetheless.
THE OLYMPIC MAN
written by Eric Endres for the Orchard Park Ward,
Western New York Stake LDS Roadshow 1999
(parody of "The Music Man" by Meredith Willson)
Produced and directed by Shelly Crespo and Eric Endres
(c) 1999 Eric Endres.
SCENE 1
A meeting of the International Olympic Committee.
Seated at a table are the IOC CHAIRMAN
and three other IOC members of various nationalities.
(In the style of "Rock Island")
CHAIRMAN
We've all got some deciding to do
for the winter games in two-thousand-two.
Who do you got? Who do you got?
Who do you got? Who do you got?
IOC MEMBER#1
We've got Ostersund, Sweden...
IOC MEMBER#2
Sion, Switzerland...
IOC MEMBER#3
And Salt Lake City, Utah.
CHAIRMAN
What do they got? What do they got?
What do they got? What do they got?
IOC#1
Well they all got snow and they all got cold,
so it's gonna take something more to win that vote.
CHAIRMAN
We need cash for the bobsled, cash for the hockey,
cash for the skiing and the skating and the curling.
(rubbing fingers together in 'money' gesture)
What do they got? What do they got?
What do they got? What do they got?
IOC#1
(rubbing stomach)
Sweden made us some Swedish meatballs.
IOC#2
(showing watch)
Switzerland gave us all nice new watches.
IOC#3
(holding up a Book of Mormon and movie tickets)
Salt Lake gave us each a Book of Mormon
and tickets to the Sundance Film Fest.
CHAIRMAN
Well, that's pretty good, pretty good, pretty good,
but still not enough, not enough, not enough.
We need cash for our families, cash for our children,
cash for the braces and the cars and the college.
IOC#1
(standing boldly)
I'll take a trip to Salt Lake City
and milk those Mormons somethin' pretty!
IOC#2 & #3
(gesturing at IOC#1)
But he doesn't know the territory!
CHAIRMAN
How about Hill?
IOC#1
Hill?
IOC#2
Hill?
IOC#3
Hill?
HAROLD HILL
(suddenly entering the room)
That's Harold Hill.
CHAIRMAN
The newest member of our committee.
And he spent some time once in Salt Lake City.
HAROLD HILL
I was thinking of joining the church out there,
and becoming a Mormon scholar,
but I couldn't shake my worship of the Almighty dollar.
(holds up and fondles a wad of bills)
CHAIRMAN
He's perfect!
IOC#1
Perfect!
IOC#2
Perfect!
IOC#3
Perfect!
IOC#1, 2, 3 and CHAIRMAN
And he knows the territory!
SCENE 2
Downtown Salt Lake City
People are walking down the street and by stores,
including ZCMI, Zion's Bank and a Tattoo/Piercing Parlor.
(MARCELLUS is sitting on a bench as
HAROLD HILL enters and greets him.)
HAROLD
Marcellus! Well, I'll be!
You're still here after all these years?!
MARCE
Harold Hill! You old rapscallion, you!
I thought they ran you out of town
for scalping General Conference tickets.
(They shake hands and sit down on bench together.)
HAROLD
Nah, that's all blown over...
I've come here again to try to find a way
to get into some of these Utah boodle bags.
I'm an agent for the Olympic Selection Committee.
I'm meeting the Salt Lake Olympic Panel
here in a few minutes.
It's my job to grease their wallets a little.
MARCE
Well, it ain't gonna be easy.
The city's doin' pretty well these days
without the Olympics.
We've got that new Outlet Mall over in Park City,
Donnie and Marie are on the tube again,
and best of all, Michael Jordan finally retired
and now the Jazz might finally
win the championship.
HAROLD
Hmmm, yeah...
We'll have to create some trouble, then.
Must create a desperate need in this town
for the 2002 Olympic Games.
(They sit in thought for a few moments,
then HAROLD looks around and notices
the Tattoo/Piercing Parlor)
HAROLD
Say, Marce, are there a lot of these
Piercing Parlors around town?
MARCE
Yeah, every other kid in town's got some
ring or chain stuck in 'em somewhere.
HAROLD
(snapping his fingers)
That'll do it!
(The Salt Lake Olympic Panel enters,
comprised of a few men and women)
PANEL MEMBER #1
Excuse me. Are you Harold Hill from the IOC?
HAROLD
(getting up and approaching the group)
That's right.
You must be the Salt Lake Olympic Panel.
Well, may I just start off by saying
that either you and your great city here
are closing your eyes to a situation
you do not wish to acknowledge,
or you are unaware of the caliber of disaster
indicated by the presence of
Piercing Parlors in your community.
HAROLD
(In the style of "Ya Got Trouble")
Weeeell, ya got trouble, my friends,
right here, I say trouble right here in Salt Lake City.
Why, sure I was a kid once.
Certainly not ashamed to say,
no, I'm not ashamed to say it.
I consider the years I spent
as an adolescent were golden.
Helped me cultivate horse sense
and a cool head and a strong mind.
But did ya ever take and try and give a long hard look
at the kids growin' up in your town?
It's a lack of discipline, morals and self-esteem
that's wrong with the kids these days,
and it leaves 'em prone to overdoses of apathy.
They start to say "whatever";
the first big word on the road
to the depths of self-destru-,
I say, first, a stud in the earlobe
and then a tattoo on the forearm.
(crowd begins to get worked up)
And the next thing you know your son
is piercing a CTR ring in his nose,
and listening to some new Marilyn Manson,
hear him sing about devil worship.
(crowd gasps)
And soon there's rings and chains
and goth makeup all over him.
Like to see him try and get
a decent job lookin' like that?
Make your blood boil, well I should say.
Now, folks, let me show you where they pierce;
(pointing to body parts as he mentions them)
in the eyelid, nose, ear, tongue;
they're walkin' hunks of metal, folks!.
Ya got trouble,
right here in Salt Lake City.
With a capital T
and that rhymes with P
and that stands for 'Piercing'.
(Music stops. Crowd whispers 'trouble trouble...')
HAROLD
Representatives of Salt Lake City-
heed this warning before it's too late.
Think of what an uplifting, positive example
the 2002 Games would be to the
troubled youth in your community,
and ask yourselves if you can afford
not to have the Olympics here in Salt Lake.
Now, please bear in mind that
Switzerland and Sweden have both
made generous contributions to our committee.
I shudder to think that any influence would
would come from that, but I would hate to see
your great city denied and your children suffer
because you weren't as willing to make
an offering on their behalf.
(The PANEL huddles briefly)
PANEL MEMBER #2
Mr. Hill, we have made it our duty to do
whatever we can to get the Games here,
so if this is what it takes, we offer you...
HAROLD
Yeeesss??
THE SALT LAKE OLYMPIC PANEL
(In the style of "76 Trombones")
Seventy-six scholarships to BYU
and a hundred and ten thousand dollars on the side.
A nominal gift for you
so in two-thousand and two
in Salt Lake the Olympics will reside.
(The PANEL dances and the crowd mixes and mutters
while HAROLD makes a call on his cell phone.)
(HAROLD hangs up the phone.)
HAROLD
Congratulations, folks!
Salt Lake City has been awarded
the 2002 Winter Olympic Games!
(The crowd cheers and celebrates.)
(ALICE THE GENEOLOGIST
pushes through to the front.)
ALICE
I can't believe this! What have you done?
You've been taken in by a common con-man,
and compromised the very values
that have made this city what it is.
I'm ashamed and disgusted with all of you!
(ALICE runs off in a huff.)
(PANEL and crowd scoff and laugh it off,
and everyone begins to disperse.)
(HAROLD walks over to MARCELLUS.)
HAROLD
Say, Marce? Who was that sassy spitfire?
MARCE
Oh, that was Alice.
She works at the Geneological Library.
She's always got somethin' to say
about what's goin' on here.
HAROLD
Well, I didn't like what she said,
but I loved the way she said it.
Captivatingly stunning, she is...
And stunningly captivating!
I'll have to pay a visit to that
the Geneological Library...
SCENE 3
Inside the Geneological Library
(ALICE is working on a computer
when HAROLD enters.
WINTHROP is nearby.)
ALICE
(noticing HAROLD)
Oh, it's you.
HAROLD
My dear, I may not have made
a favorable impression on you,
but you've certainly made one on me!
ALICE
(trying to act uninterested)
Is there something I can do for you?
Is there a name you'd like to look up?
HAROLD
Oh, I know the name I'm after.
ALICE
What name is that?
HAROLD
Alice.
(ALICE shrugs in disgust.)
HAROLD
(referring to WINTHROP)
Say, who is this fine-lookin' young fella?
ALICE
Oh, that's my brother Winthrop.
(Upon hearing his name, WINTHROP runs away.)
HAROLD
Well, I see he has the family charm!
ALICE
He's really shy. He has a lisp.
And he hasn't been well since our father died.
HAROLD
Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that.
Say, you know what that boy needs?
ALICE
What?
HAROLD
A strong male figure in his life,
like, say, a brother-in-law.
ALICE
If you're referring to yourself,
then he's better off as he is!
HAROLD
My dear, the colder your words are,
the warmer my heart gets!
HAROLD
(In the style of "Marian Librarian")
What can I do my dear to make it clear?
I love you madly, madly geneologist Alice.
You're a far off target I will always miss.
Too into your family trees to allow a kiss.
Can I ever romance a stubborn geneologist
such as Aaaaaaaa-lice
Geneoooooooo-logist
(During the song, HAROLD pursues ALICE
around the desk, etc.
ALICE avoids his advances, and eventually
throws him his coat and he leaves.)
SCENE 4
ALICE's front porch.
(ALICE and her MOTHER are sitting on the porch.)
MOTHER
So, dear, who is this Hill fella I keep hearin' about?
I understand he's taken quite a fancy to you.
ALICE
Harold? Oh, he is an absolutely incorrigible man.
MOTHER
Oh, my, every man is incorrigible, isn't he now?
What's the story with this one?
ALICE
He's on the committee that voted for
Salt Lake to get the Olympic Games.
MOTHER
Well, that's a good thing, now, isn't it?
ALICE
Oh, but mother, he's a boorish, swindling, flattering conman.
MOTHER
(wryly)
So he's a fixer-upper.
(ALICE shrugs.)
MOTHER
Well, if he likes ya, Alice, and he's half a looker,
ya ought to at least give him a chance.
Most importantly, he's alive.
Your geneology is a great thing, dear,
but sometimes I think you've had better relationships
with your deceased ancestors
than with anyone who's livin'.
It's no wonder your little brother is so shy.
He takes after his sister.
Poor Winthrop.
(MOTHER exits. ALICE sits and ponders that.)
(WINTHROP and other children approach the porch,
carrying skates, skis, hockey sticks, etc.)
WINTHROP
(with a heavy lisp)
Alith! Alith!
Look at all thith great thtuff
that Mithter Hill gave uth!
ALICE
My, my... Winthrop!
I've never seen you so excited in your whole life!
Mr. Hill gave you all of this? Really?
WINTHROP
Thath right! He wanth uth to really have thome fun
and learn about the Olympic thpirit.
A LITTLE GIRL
(holding skates)
I'm going to be a champion figure skater someday.
ANOTHER CHILD
(holding skis)
I'm gonna be an Olympic skiier.
WINTHROP
(holding a hockey stick)
And I'm gonna be the nextht Wayne Grethtky!
ALICE
Oh, that's wonderful!
WINTHROP
And Mithter Hill taught uth a great thong, too.
WINTHROP and the OTHER KIDS
(In the style of "Gary, Indiana")
Thalt Lake Thity, Utah
Thalt Lake Thity, Utah
Not in Tuthcalootha,
Parith, Franth, New York or Rome
But Thalt Lake Thity, Utah
Thalt Lake Thity, Utah
Thalt Lake Thity, Utah,
my home thweet home.
ALICE
That was wonderful, Winthrop!
WINTHROP
I'll thee you later, Alith.
I've got to go and practith my thlap thot.
(ALICE sits alone on the porch and is
obviously moved by what's happened.)
ALICE
(to herself)
I've never felt so conflicted about someone before.
A part of me wants to fall for him,
and a part of me just wants to kick him!
I'm not sure exactly how he makes me feel.
I only know that he does make me feel.
(ALICE sings "Til There Was You")
(MOTHER comes out carrying a radio.)
MOTHER
Alice! Alice! Listen to the news.
RADIO ANNOUNCER
...and in the wake of the Olympic bribery scandal,
members of the Salt Lake City Olympic Panel
and members of the IOC have resigned in shame.
A council is now investigating the matter fully
and uncovering allegations that other cities have
been making similar donations and bribes
to the IOC for years.
MOTHER
Oh, dear. I guess you were right about that Harold fella.
(MOTHER walks back inside.)
ALICE
(to herself)
No, I think I may have been wrong.
(HAROLD walks by.)
ALICE
Harold!
HAROLD
Alice?
HAROLD
Well, as you've probably heard,
I've resigned from the committee.
ALICE
Yes, I know.
HAROLD
Oh, Alice. I feel horrible for what I've done.
I honestly don't want to live that way anymore.
I'm just glad that the Games will still go on here.
That was all I really wanted in the end.
ALICE
Well, I don't believe that the end can justify the means,
but I think that sometimes, despite our ends and means,
the Lord can make something good come from it all.
You've given our town and our children some real spirit,
and the Games will be something that
we'll remember for the rest of our lives.
HAROLD
I hope to be able to see that for myself.
ALICE
What do you mean?
HAROLD
I've decided to stay here. This town has won me over.
Well, the town and a certain geneologist.
ALICE
Oh, Harold, I've spent so much time
researching family trees that I
never thought of starting one of my own.
HAROLD
I would love to be a part of that tree.
ALICE
Oh, that would be wonderful.
But first, before we let this go any further,
there's some gentlemen that I'd like you to talk to.
HAROLD
Gentlemen?
(A crowd comes out,
and two MISSIONARIES
approach HAROLD.)
CROWD
(In the style of "Wells Fargo Wagon")
Oh-ho, the missionaries are a-comin' down the street.
Oh, please let 'em talk to you.
Oh-ho, the missionaries are a-comin' down the street.
They want to tell you that the church is true.
(MISSIONARIES show HAROLD
Book of Mormon and pamphlets, etc.,
and they talk amongst themselves.)
ALICE
They'll show you the plan of salvation...
CROWD MEMBER #1
(holding a church video)
And maybe a church video...
CROWD MEMBER #2
And after prayer and meditation...
(HAROLD kneels down and prays.)
CROWD
The Holy Ghost is gonna let you know.
(HAROLD stands up and rejoices.
He pulls off his outer clothing,
revealing white baptism clothes.)
CROWD
Oh-ho, the missionaries are a-comin' down the street.
Oh, please let 'em talk to you.
--THE END--
OTHER
An episode of Family Guy had character Peter Griffin performing
"Shipoopi" after scoring a touchdown during a football game.
Another episode of Family Guy, "Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows,"
included a good parody of "The Piano Lesson".
* * *
An episode of Boston Legal had James Spader's character
Alan Shore breaking into "Ya Got Trouble" in a restaurant.
Here's the transcript...
Alan and Sara, in a restaurant, drinking wine.
Alan Shore: Sara, I see you're a lover of fine wine.
Sara Holt: Not really. I just picked the most expensive.
I figured, whatever it is you have in mind here? You
should pay for it.
Alan Shore: When I pay for it it's usually cheap and tawdry.
Waiter: He comes up. All set to hear about our specials?
Alan Shore: Please!
Waiter: First. Which I really recommend. It's great.
We have an incredible North Atlantic salmon. Its farm raised,
just got it in today. The chef prepared…
Alan Shore: Now would these be the Atlantic salmon raised in pens
in the Pacific Ocean? The ones who periodically escape…
Waiter: Well I can assure you the ones we're serving didn't escape. Ha, ha, ha.
Alan Shore: He chuckles. That's very funny. Tell me.
Do people here order the farm salmon?
Waiter: It's actually our most popular dish tonight.
Alan Shore: I see. He gets up. Good evening diners!
Forgive me, but instead of grace I typically begin my meals with
public service announcement. I just thought you'd like to know
by ordering or buying farmed salmon you may be helping
to wipe out the wild, or rather, real salmon stocks.
Maitre d': Sir?
Customer: That's not true.
Maitre d': You're upsetting the patrons.
Customer: Sit down.
Alan Shore: I apologize. Perhaps I should be more entertaining then.
Folks we got trouble. Right here I say trouble, right here in River City.
Sara Holt: Mr Shore?
Alan Shore: You got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets on the table.
Pockets that mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum
with a capital B, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for pool.
Sara Holt: Check please.
Alan Shore: We need to pool our resources and stop the fish farms.
It doesn't even taste like real salmon because it's not… caught…
which fish should be.
* * *
A Sesame Street episode included a segment with
Professor Gary Gill performing a "Ya Got Trouble" parody
about the letter 'G'.
* * *
According to a newspaper article,
Billy Crystal had planned to do a parody of "Ya Got Trouble"
for the 2000 Academy Awards opening number,
but apparently Rosemary Willson, Meredith's widow,
and the current owner of his estate,
disapproved of the content, and would not allow it.
While we must respect her decision,
it's certainly interesting to imagine what
the parody would have been like!
* * *
I know there have been many other "Music Man"
spoofs and references in movies and TV shows,
including "Austin Powers", "Ally McBeal"
and several others.
If you have specific information about a
Music Man parody, please forward it to me.
2006 Emmy Awards
The Simpsons
The Olympic Man
Other
Forbidden Broadway
The 2001 version of "Forbidden Broadway" has
an extensive sendup of the Broadway Revival.
Here are the lyrics to the parody of "Ya Got Trouble".
Folks listen... May I have your attention please, attention please
I'm happy to be here friends, back on the boards with this routine
I'm the actual Robert Preston, not the imitation now in question
And I'm here to talk about the contemporary theatre scene
Well, ya got trouble my friends.
Right here, I said trouble right here in New York City
Why sure I'm a theatre goer...
Certainly mighty proud to say, always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend in a Broadway show are golden
Help me cultivate culture, and a sense of humor and dramatic flare
But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity
to make a good broadway show, I say that any boob
can pull a 2-bit play in a theatre, and I call those flops,
The first big shows of the year are leading to degredation
I say first, there's Lily Tomlin at the Boothe and Cher at the Shubert
Then the next thing you know your tickets
are costing more money than at City Bank
Cuz production costs are out of control, to produce is not an art,
it's more like gamblin'
And the only shows in the black are the shows they show on HBO
Like to slap down 80 bucks when ya coulda watched Sex In The City
Make your blood boil, well I should say
Now friends let me tell ya what I mean
Ya got 1,2,3,4,5,6 quality productions
But none of them from this season, and nothing much coming up
And that ends with P and that rhymes with D and that stands for DULL...
Now I'm sure all you folks are lovers of the theatre
I'm gonna be perfectly frank
Would you like to know what kind of conversation goes on in a typical Sardi's lunch?
People talk about Contact, talk about Fosse, talk about River Dance,
Swing, and Mama-Mia
And jeering alls abouts hows abouts the only shows now are big dance concerts
One fine night we'll walk down Broadway looking for a good show to go to
But all'll be gone, all you'll hear is this hip hop
Shameless music from a big hotel, high rise, with MTV and DVD players
Mass media, friends the idle theatre is the devil's playground
Trouble, right hear in New York City, with a capital T
and that rhymes with D and that stands for DULL
We surely got trouble, right here in New York City,
gotta figure out a way to get this Broadway season out of it's lull
(spoken)
Theatre goers of America, heed that warning before it's too late.
Look for the tell-tale signs of Broadway's destruction.
Are the new Ethel Merman and Mary Martin, Rosie O'Donnell and Kathy Griffith?
Are orchestras so heavily mic-ed that they might as well play a tape...and do?
Are foreign actors creepin' into our Broadway theatres?
Actors like Julia Benoche... Ah-ha, and Jesus Christ Stupid Star
(sings)
Well if so my friends,
you got TROUBLE, right here in New York City
With a capital T and that rhymes with D and that stands for DULL
We surely got trouble, right here in New York City
Remember Mame, Hello Dolly, and Cauge Falles
Oh we got trouble, we're in terrible terrible trouble
cuz Broadway looks like it's heading for an artistic lull
We surely got trouble, trouble, trouble
(oh, yes we got trouble here, we got big big trouble)
With a T (with a capital T)
Gotta rhyme with D (that rhymes with D)
And that stands for DULL (that stands for dull!)
---
2006 Emmy Awards with Conan O'Brien
The 2006 Emmy Awards broadcast featured a spot-on parody
of "Ya Got Trouble", where host Conan O'Brien rips into
NBC's sagging ratings. I'm not sure how long it will stay there,
but you can see the footage on YouTube at this link.
(Please be aware there are a couple of
parts that may not be suitable for kids.)
Apparently, Conan is a big Music Man fan and he wrote the
Marge vs. the Monorail episode of The Simpsons (see below).
Here is a transcript of the performance...
The NBC brass keep saying that we're just about to turn a corner.
They're very optimistic. But frankly, either NBC's closing its eyes
to a situation it does not wish to acknowledge, or they are unaware
of the caliber of disaster indicated by a drop to fourth place...
Weeeeeeeell, we got trouble, my friends. Yes, we got trouble
right here at NBC. With a capital T and that rhymes with G
as in "Gee, we're screwed". Yeah, we got trouble.
Trouble right here at NBC. I know you don't care,
but our network share is just one, dude.
Well, a few years ago we were sitting on top with Seinfeld,
Frasier and Friends. Then those shows bailed and the
new ones failed, and it started a nasty trend.
And the guy who passed on Lost was promoted instead of tossed,
and now the Peacock's getting it from both ends.
Yeah, we got trouble... (Oh, we got trouble!) Right here at NBC.
(At NBC!) With a capital T and that rhymes with G as in
"Gee, we're screwed." Yeah, we got trouble right here at NBC.
I hate to disrespect, but my lawyer checked and I can't be sued.
(His lawyers checked, he can't be sued.)
(Trouble... trouble... trouble...) And it's not just NBC, folks.
All of television is changing and we gotta change with it.
Tivo has people skipping past commercials, unlike the good
old days when they just got up and left the room. And there's
the internet. At this very moment your kids are on YouTube watching
a cat on a toilet, instead of watching that footage where it belongs...
on the Fox network! And worst of all, TV's biggest night of the year
is kicking off with a song and dance number performed by
a host with limited musical ability. (He can't sing!)
Yeah, we got trouble! TV's in terrible, terrible trouble.
We had a lot of viewers, not we got a few. To prove things are
going to hell, we're relying on Howie Mandel... With a capital T
and that rhymes with G, as in "Gee, we're screwed!"
Marge vs. the Monorail
On this classic episode of "The Simpsons",
the town has gathered to meet and discuss
how to best spend a recently acquired $3 million.
Marge Simpson makes the suggestion
to use the money to fix the horribly
maintained streets of Springfield.
There is a large show of support for her idea,
but suddenly, a stranger in a colorful suit and hat appears,
and suggests that they use the money instead
to build a monorail in the town
(he is planning to skimp on the cost of the production
and leave town with the extra money
before the shoddily built monorail derails).
The man, Lyle Lanley (voiced by Phil Hartman),
is a dead ringer for Harold Hill,
and he eventually launches into a musical number
in a style reminiscent of "Ya Got Trouble"...
Lyle Lanley
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine,
bonafide, electrified, six-car monorail!
What'd I say?
Ned Flanders
Monorail!
Lyle Lanley
What's it called?
Patty and Selma
Monorail!
Lyle Lanley
That's right! Monorail!
(crowd chants "Monorail" softly and rhythmically)
Miss Hoover
I hear those things are awfully loud.
Lyle Lanley
It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu
Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley
Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney
What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley
You'll all be given cushy jobs.
Abe
Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley
No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Chief Wiggum
The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley
Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it's Springfield's only choice.
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All
(singing)
Monorail!
Lyle Lanley
What's it called?
All
Monorail!
Lyle Lanley
Once again...
All
Monorail!
Marge
But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...
Bart
Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All
(singing)
Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!
(big finish)
Monorail!
Homer
(not realizing the song's over)
Mono... D'oh!
The Olympic Man
A parody I wrote for a church production,
with Harold Hill as a member of the
International Olympic Committee
during the Salt Lake City Olympic bribery scandal.
Every few years, the church I belong to
(The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)
puts on something called 'Roadshows',
where all the different branches in an area
each put together a brief (15 min.) 'show'
and then perform them for a few nights.
The theme in 1999 was to do
a parody of a Broadway musical,
and being asked to write and direct,
I, of course, chose "The Music Man" to do.
It was a great time, and I got to fulfill
a life-long dream to play the part of Harold Hill,
albeit not quite in the way I had always hoped!
Anyways, here is the script for the show,
based on the recent Olympic bribery scandal,
with Harold Hill as a member of the IOC.
It would probably help to know
more about LDS beliefs and culture
to get some of the specific references,
but most people should be able
to follow it nonetheless.
THE OLYMPIC MAN
written by Eric Endres for the Orchard Park Ward,
Western New York Stake LDS Roadshow 1999
(parody of "The Music Man" by Meredith Willson)
Produced and directed by Shelly Crespo and Eric Endres
(c) 1999 Eric Endres.
SCENE 1
A meeting of the International Olympic Committee.
Seated at a table are the IOC CHAIRMAN
and three other IOC members of various nationalities.
(In the style of "Rock Island")
CHAIRMAN
We've all got some deciding to do
for the winter games in two-thousand-two.
Who do you got? Who do you got?
Who do you got? Who do you got?
IOC MEMBER#1
We've got Ostersund, Sweden...
IOC MEMBER#2
Sion, Switzerland...
IOC MEMBER#3
And Salt Lake City, Utah.
CHAIRMAN
What do they got? What do they got?
What do they got? What do they got?
IOC#1
Well they all got snow and they all got cold,
so it's gonna take something more to win that vote.
CHAIRMAN
We need cash for the bobsled, cash for the hockey,
cash for the skiing and the skating and the curling.
(rubbing fingers together in 'money' gesture)
What do they got? What do they got?
What do they got? What do they got?
IOC#1
(rubbing stomach)
Sweden made us some Swedish meatballs.
IOC#2
(showing watch)
Switzerland gave us all nice new watches.
IOC#3
(holding up a Book of Mormon and movie tickets)
Salt Lake gave us each a Book of Mormon
and tickets to the Sundance Film Fest.
CHAIRMAN
Well, that's pretty good, pretty good, pretty good,
but still not enough, not enough, not enough.
We need cash for our families, cash for our children,
cash for the braces and the cars and the college.
IOC#1
(standing boldly)
I'll take a trip to Salt Lake City
and milk those Mormons somethin' pretty!
IOC#2 & #3
(gesturing at IOC#1)
But he doesn't know the territory!
CHAIRMAN
How about Hill?
IOC#1
Hill?
IOC#2
Hill?
IOC#3
Hill?
HAROLD HILL
(suddenly entering the room)
That's Harold Hill.
CHAIRMAN
The newest member of our committee.
And he spent some time once in Salt Lake City.
HAROLD HILL
I was thinking of joining the church out there,
and becoming a Mormon scholar,
but I couldn't shake my worship of the Almighty dollar.
(holds up and fondles a wad of bills)
CHAIRMAN
He's perfect!
IOC#1
Perfect!
IOC#2
Perfect!
IOC#3
Perfect!
IOC#1, 2, 3 and CHAIRMAN
And he knows the territory!
SCENE 2
Downtown Salt Lake City
People are walking down the street and by stores,
including ZCMI, Zion's Bank and a Tattoo/Piercing Parlor.
(MARCELLUS is sitting on a bench as
HAROLD HILL enters and greets him.)
HAROLD
Marcellus! Well, I'll be!
You're still here after all these years?!
MARCE
Harold Hill! You old rapscallion, you!
I thought they ran you out of town
for scalping General Conference tickets.
(They shake hands and sit down on bench together.)
HAROLD
Nah, that's all blown over...
I've come here again to try to find a way
to get into some of these Utah boodle bags.
I'm an agent for the Olympic Selection Committee.
I'm meeting the Salt Lake Olympic Panel
here in a few minutes.
It's my job to grease their wallets a little.
MARCE
Well, it ain't gonna be easy.
The city's doin' pretty well these days
without the Olympics.
We've got that new Outlet Mall over in Park City,
Donnie and Marie are on the tube again,
and best of all, Michael Jordan finally retired
and now the Jazz might finally
win the championship.
HAROLD
Hmmm, yeah...
We'll have to create some trouble, then.
Must create a desperate need in this town
for the 2002 Olympic Games.
(They sit in thought for a few moments,
then HAROLD looks around and notices
the Tattoo/Piercing Parlor)
HAROLD
Say, Marce, are there a lot of these
Piercing Parlors around town?
MARCE
Yeah, every other kid in town's got some
ring or chain stuck in 'em somewhere.
HAROLD
(snapping his fingers)
That'll do it!
(The Salt Lake Olympic Panel enters,
comprised of a few men and women)
PANEL MEMBER #1
Excuse me. Are you Harold Hill from the IOC?
HAROLD
(getting up and approaching the group)
That's right.
You must be the Salt Lake Olympic Panel.
Well, may I just start off by saying
that either you and your great city here
are closing your eyes to a situation
you do not wish to acknowledge,
or you are unaware of the caliber of disaster
indicated by the presence of
Piercing Parlors in your community.
HAROLD
(In the style of "Ya Got Trouble")
Weeeell, ya got trouble, my friends,
right here, I say trouble right here in Salt Lake City.
Why, sure I was a kid once.
Certainly not ashamed to say,
no, I'm not ashamed to say it.
I consider the years I spent
as an adolescent were golden.
Helped me cultivate horse sense
and a cool head and a strong mind.
But did ya ever take and try and give a long hard look
at the kids growin' up in your town?
It's a lack of discipline, morals and self-esteem
that's wrong with the kids these days,
and it leaves 'em prone to overdoses of apathy.
They start to say "whatever";
the first big word on the road
to the depths of self-destru-,
I say, first, a stud in the earlobe
and then a tattoo on the forearm.
(crowd begins to get worked up)
And the next thing you know your son
is piercing a CTR ring in his nose,
and listening to some new Marilyn Manson,
hear him sing about devil worship.
(crowd gasps)
And soon there's rings and chains
and goth makeup all over him.
Like to see him try and get
a decent job lookin' like that?
Make your blood boil, well I should say.
Now, folks, let me show you where they pierce;
(pointing to body parts as he mentions them)
in the eyelid, nose, ear, tongue;
they're walkin' hunks of metal, folks!.
Ya got trouble,
right here in Salt Lake City.
With a capital T
and that rhymes with P
and that stands for 'Piercing'.
(Music stops. Crowd whispers 'trouble trouble...')
HAROLD
Representatives of Salt Lake City-
heed this warning before it's too late.
Think of what an uplifting, positive example
the 2002 Games would be to the
troubled youth in your community,
and ask yourselves if you can afford
not to have the Olympics here in Salt Lake.
Now, please bear in mind that
Switzerland and Sweden have both
made generous contributions to our committee.
I shudder to think that any influence would
would come from that, but I would hate to see
your great city denied and your children suffer
because you weren't as willing to make
an offering on their behalf.
(The PANEL huddles briefly)
PANEL MEMBER #2
Mr. Hill, we have made it our duty to do
whatever we can to get the Games here,
so if this is what it takes, we offer you...
HAROLD
Yeeesss??
THE SALT LAKE OLYMPIC PANEL
(In the style of "76 Trombones")
Seventy-six scholarships to BYU
and a hundred and ten thousand dollars on the side.
A nominal gift for you
so in two-thousand and two
in Salt Lake the Olympics will reside.
(The PANEL dances and the crowd mixes and mutters
while HAROLD makes a call on his cell phone.)
(HAROLD hangs up the phone.)
HAROLD
Congratulations, folks!
Salt Lake City has been awarded
the 2002 Winter Olympic Games!
(The crowd cheers and celebrates.)
(ALICE THE GENEOLOGIST
pushes through to the front.)
ALICE
I can't believe this! What have you done?
You've been taken in by a common con-man,
and compromised the very values
that have made this city what it is.
I'm ashamed and disgusted with all of you!
(ALICE runs off in a huff.)
(PANEL and crowd scoff and laugh it off,
and everyone begins to disperse.)
(HAROLD walks over to MARCELLUS.)
HAROLD
Say, Marce? Who was that sassy spitfire?
MARCE
Oh, that was Alice.
She works at the Geneological Library.
She's always got somethin' to say
about what's goin' on here.
HAROLD
Well, I didn't like what she said,
but I loved the way she said it.
Captivatingly stunning, she is...
And stunningly captivating!
I'll have to pay a visit to that
the Geneological Library...
SCENE 3
Inside the Geneological Library
(ALICE is working on a computer
when HAROLD enters.
WINTHROP is nearby.)
ALICE
(noticing HAROLD)
Oh, it's you.
HAROLD
My dear, I may not have made
a favorable impression on you,
but you've certainly made one on me!
ALICE
(trying to act uninterested)
Is there something I can do for you?
Is there a name you'd like to look up?
HAROLD
Oh, I know the name I'm after.
ALICE
What name is that?
HAROLD
Alice.
(ALICE shrugs in disgust.)
HAROLD
(referring to WINTHROP)
Say, who is this fine-lookin' young fella?
ALICE
Oh, that's my brother Winthrop.
(Upon hearing his name, WINTHROP runs away.)
HAROLD
Well, I see he has the family charm!
ALICE
He's really shy. He has a lisp.
And he hasn't been well since our father died.
HAROLD
Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that.
Say, you know what that boy needs?
ALICE
What?
HAROLD
A strong male figure in his life,
like, say, a brother-in-law.
ALICE
If you're referring to yourself,
then he's better off as he is!
HAROLD
My dear, the colder your words are,
the warmer my heart gets!
HAROLD
(In the style of "Marian Librarian")
What can I do my dear to make it clear?
I love you madly, madly geneologist Alice.
You're a far off target I will always miss.
Too into your family trees to allow a kiss.
Can I ever romance a stubborn geneologist
such as Aaaaaaaa-lice
Geneoooooooo-logist
(During the song, HAROLD pursues ALICE
around the desk, etc.
ALICE avoids his advances, and eventually
throws him his coat and he leaves.)
SCENE 4
ALICE's front porch.
(ALICE and her MOTHER are sitting on the porch.)
MOTHER
So, dear, who is this Hill fella I keep hearin' about?
I understand he's taken quite a fancy to you.
ALICE
Harold? Oh, he is an absolutely incorrigible man.
MOTHER
Oh, my, every man is incorrigible, isn't he now?
What's the story with this one?
ALICE
He's on the committee that voted for
Salt Lake to get the Olympic Games.
MOTHER
Well, that's a good thing, now, isn't it?
ALICE
Oh, but mother, he's a boorish, swindling, flattering conman.
MOTHER
(wryly)
So he's a fixer-upper.
(ALICE shrugs.)
MOTHER
Well, if he likes ya, Alice, and he's half a looker,
ya ought to at least give him a chance.
Most importantly, he's alive.
Your geneology is a great thing, dear,
but sometimes I think you've had better relationships
with your deceased ancestors
than with anyone who's livin'.
It's no wonder your little brother is so shy.
He takes after his sister.
Poor Winthrop.
(MOTHER exits. ALICE sits and ponders that.)
(WINTHROP and other children approach the porch,
carrying skates, skis, hockey sticks, etc.)
WINTHROP
(with a heavy lisp)
Alith! Alith!
Look at all thith great thtuff
that Mithter Hill gave uth!
ALICE
My, my... Winthrop!
I've never seen you so excited in your whole life!
Mr. Hill gave you all of this? Really?
WINTHROP
Thath right! He wanth uth to really have thome fun
and learn about the Olympic thpirit.
A LITTLE GIRL
(holding skates)
I'm going to be a champion figure skater someday.
ANOTHER CHILD
(holding skis)
I'm gonna be an Olympic skiier.
WINTHROP
(holding a hockey stick)
And I'm gonna be the nextht Wayne Grethtky!
ALICE
Oh, that's wonderful!
WINTHROP
And Mithter Hill taught uth a great thong, too.
WINTHROP and the OTHER KIDS
(In the style of "Gary, Indiana")
Thalt Lake Thity, Utah
Thalt Lake Thity, Utah
Not in Tuthcalootha,
Parith, Franth, New York or Rome
But Thalt Lake Thity, Utah
Thalt Lake Thity, Utah
Thalt Lake Thity, Utah,
my home thweet home.
ALICE
That was wonderful, Winthrop!
WINTHROP
I'll thee you later, Alith.
I've got to go and practith my thlap thot.
(ALICE sits alone on the porch and is
obviously moved by what's happened.)
ALICE
(to herself)
I've never felt so conflicted about someone before.
A part of me wants to fall for him,
and a part of me just wants to kick him!
I'm not sure exactly how he makes me feel.
I only know that he does make me feel.
(ALICE sings "Til There Was You")
(MOTHER comes out carrying a radio.)
MOTHER
Alice! Alice! Listen to the news.
RADIO ANNOUNCER
...and in the wake of the Olympic bribery scandal,
members of the Salt Lake City Olympic Panel
and members of the IOC have resigned in shame.
A council is now investigating the matter fully
and uncovering allegations that other cities have
been making similar donations and bribes
to the IOC for years.
MOTHER
Oh, dear. I guess you were right about that Harold fella.
(MOTHER walks back inside.)
ALICE
(to herself)
No, I think I may have been wrong.
(HAROLD walks by.)
ALICE
Harold!
HAROLD
Alice?
HAROLD
Well, as you've probably heard,
I've resigned from the committee.
ALICE
Yes, I know.
HAROLD
Oh, Alice. I feel horrible for what I've done.
I honestly don't want to live that way anymore.
I'm just glad that the Games will still go on here.
That was all I really wanted in the end.
ALICE
Well, I don't believe that the end can justify the means,
but I think that sometimes, despite our ends and means,
the Lord can make something good come from it all.
You've given our town and our children some real spirit,
and the Games will be something that
we'll remember for the rest of our lives.
HAROLD
I hope to be able to see that for myself.
ALICE
What do you mean?
HAROLD
I've decided to stay here. This town has won me over.
Well, the town and a certain geneologist.
ALICE
Oh, Harold, I've spent so much time
researching family trees that I
never thought of starting one of my own.
HAROLD
I would love to be a part of that tree.
ALICE
Oh, that would be wonderful.
But first, before we let this go any further,
there's some gentlemen that I'd like you to talk to.
HAROLD
Gentlemen?
(A crowd comes out,
and two MISSIONARIES
approach HAROLD.)
CROWD
(In the style of "Wells Fargo Wagon")
Oh-ho, the missionaries are a-comin' down the street.
Oh, please let 'em talk to you.
Oh-ho, the missionaries are a-comin' down the street.
They want to tell you that the church is true.
(MISSIONARIES show HAROLD
Book of Mormon and pamphlets, etc.,
and they talk amongst themselves.)
ALICE
They'll show you the plan of salvation...
CROWD MEMBER #1
(holding a church video)
And maybe a church video...
CROWD MEMBER #2
And after prayer and meditation...
(HAROLD kneels down and prays.)
CROWD
The Holy Ghost is gonna let you know.
(HAROLD stands up and rejoices.
He pulls off his outer clothing,
revealing white baptism clothes.)
CROWD
Oh-ho, the missionaries are a-comin' down the street.
Oh, please let 'em talk to you.
--THE END--
OTHER
An episode of Family Guy had character Peter Griffin performing
"Shipoopi" after scoring a touchdown during a football game.
Another episode of Family Guy, "Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows,"
included a good parody of "The Piano Lesson".
* * *
An episode of Boston Legal had James Spader's character
Alan Shore breaking into "Ya Got Trouble" in a restaurant.
Here's the transcript...
Alan and Sara, in a restaurant, drinking wine.
Alan Shore: Sara, I see you're a lover of fine wine.
Sara Holt: Not really. I just picked the most expensive.
I figured, whatever it is you have in mind here? You
should pay for it.
Alan Shore: When I pay for it it's usually cheap and tawdry.
Waiter: He comes up. All set to hear about our specials?
Alan Shore: Please!
Waiter: First. Which I really recommend. It's great.
We have an incredible North Atlantic salmon. Its farm raised,
just got it in today. The chef prepared…
Alan Shore: Now would these be the Atlantic salmon raised in pens
in the Pacific Ocean? The ones who periodically escape…
Waiter: Well I can assure you the ones we're serving didn't escape. Ha, ha, ha.
Alan Shore: He chuckles. That's very funny. Tell me.
Do people here order the farm salmon?
Waiter: It's actually our most popular dish tonight.
Alan Shore: I see. He gets up. Good evening diners!
Forgive me, but instead of grace I typically begin my meals with
public service announcement. I just thought you'd like to know
by ordering or buying farmed salmon you may be helping
to wipe out the wild, or rather, real salmon stocks.
Maitre d': Sir?
Customer: That's not true.
Maitre d': You're upsetting the patrons.
Customer: Sit down.
Alan Shore: I apologize. Perhaps I should be more entertaining then.
Folks we got trouble. Right here I say trouble, right here in River City.
Sara Holt: Mr Shore?
Alan Shore: You got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets on the table.
Pockets that mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum
with a capital B, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for pool.
Sara Holt: Check please.
Alan Shore: We need to pool our resources and stop the fish farms.
It doesn't even taste like real salmon because it's not… caught…
which fish should be.
* * *
A Sesame Street episode included a segment with
Professor Gary Gill performing a "Ya Got Trouble" parody
about the letter 'G'.
* * *
According to a newspaper article,
Billy Crystal had planned to do a parody of "Ya Got Trouble"
for the 2000 Academy Awards opening number,
but apparently Rosemary Willson, Meredith's widow,
and the current owner of his estate,
disapproved of the content, and would not allow it.
While we must respect her decision,
it's certainly interesting to imagine what
the parody would have been like!
* * *
I know there have been many other "Music Man"
spoofs and references in movies and TV shows,
including "Austin Powers", "Ally McBeal"
and several others.
If you have specific information about a
Music Man parody, please forward it to me.
